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<AKK>
shall we call Jerrold in discussing his new show topic?
<AKK>
and silence returned. in the distance the faint beeping of a
camera bot arose, panning the empty seats of the auditorium, and
the empty chairs on the podium. Apparently, the invited guests
for this show have turned Jerrold Jumper down: the Queen of the
Crown, Premier Dutch, and Spartos of Tarkon all had better things
to do than sitting through a talkshow (even if they were allowed
to psychocrystallize the audience afterwards). Maybe he should
have chosen a less obvious title than "Tyrants in
Private".
<Bruinhilda> Meanwhile, under the stage,
a lone galaxy ranger, posted on a mission to "take out"
certain invited quests, snores, having fallen asleep with no
targets in sight.
<AKK> A rather daring atomic ant
slowly crawls across his left boot.
<AKK> Murc H. Dogg,
director and owner of Galaxy Tri-D, the channel that broadcasts
'the Jerrold Jumper show' finally moves his big, undertrained and
overweight bulk to kick JJs butt back into oblivion. Zero quotes
are bad business.
<Bruinhilda> In the dressing room,
Jerrold Jumper slams his head against the wall, as he realizes
he's finally out of a job. He resolves to run for political
office, on the theory it's similar to talk show hosting...
<AKK>
Only to be faced with some rather convincing gentlemen in
ill-fitting grey business suits who tell him to do
otherwise.
<Bruinhilda> Hence why he now appears on
late-night infomercials shilling "enlarging"
formulas.
<Bruinhilda> Sadly, his first customers, the
Kirwin Basketball Team, ended up suing him for deceptive
advertising...
<AKK> In his office, Eric Wheiner leans
back in his chair, thinking bemused that the ISA once again
proved it's worth. In their long time of cooperation they had had
but one failure. He sighed, but somewhen even "the Walsh
incident" would be corrected. Watching the late-night
infomercials he wondered briefly if the advertised product
actually might help his problem with his wife Janine. On the
other hand, if he considered his daughter —
he refused to think of his son, the galactical love priest -- he
better left things as they were. That's safer.
<Bruinhilda>
And light-years away, the Queen of the Crown switched over to
"Designer Dictator" and helped herself to another
bon-bon as she pondered the fate of the cable-tv bill collector
in the dungeon.
<AKK> Would he still have enough fat to
serve as fodder for Bruno, her mutant pet plago?
<Bruinhilda>
Possibly, but Slade was back in her life (uuggghhh), and was
convinced a bill collector would be the perfect subject for a
super-assassian experiment...
<AKK> ...an experiment
that utterly failed in her eyes. Though his increased convincing
methods might prove useful in the SERO (Sorry End Recruiting
Office).
<AKK> 'Designer Dictator' proved boring and she
began zapping, catching a certain late night advertising, she
wondered if it would be useful to order a six pack pf the stuff
for Slade. Might make him a bit *more*
interesting...
<Bruinhilda> Meanwhile, the snoozing
galaxy ranger, having been bitten by numerous atomic ants, had
grown to immense size and gained the ability to carry 50 times
his own weight. While he was initially considered as an addition
to the Series 5 team, he ultimately ended up leaving the rangers
and pursuing a career as a New York Superhero.
<AKK> A
choice the city immediately regretted the first time he needed to
use a bathroom.
<Bruinhilda> King Spartos decided he was
sick of being king of a place with no internet access and cable
tv, and let his daughter overthrow him. He then moved to a
retirement community in South Florida (the Submerged
Estates...making a paradise of global warming since 2022).
<AKK>
Only to discover that due to not totally closed cables the
internet access undersea was sporadic at best. In the meantime,
Maya got rid of the no-tech-policy and wifi-ed the whole planet.
Her rule of 1-Tarkonian-1-Laptop & free music downloads
proved exeptionally prosperous.
<AKK> the RIAA
immediately stocked up on military goods, thus resolving the
Tortunian household deficit.
<Bruinhilda> Seriously
bored, Spartos found himself a new carrer...hosting a talk
show.
<AKK> Under name "Sparky Spartos" he
know interviews the rich and wealthy for the Murc H Dogg
consortium.
<Bruinhilda> He is hoping to do a "Women
of Action" episode soon, so he can invite Ranger Niko and
ask her out after the show.
<AKK> A stray thought, that
was unfortunately caught by a latent psi-talent, who immediately
decided to convince him physically to return to his daughter's
court as official advisor.
<AKK> Queen Maya on her side,
wasn't too pleased about his return, since it rather reduced her
ability to enjoy her free time with a certain visiting
ranger.
<Bruinhilda> Wheiner's senatorial term and his
attempt to run for Premier ended tragically in an encounter with
New York's largest superhero, The MegaAnt.
<AKK> Or more
precisely, Wheiner's armored limo drove down 1st avenue the
moment MegaAnt needed the bathroom a second time for "big
business".
<Bruinhilda> Rescue workers were not
able to find him in time, citing the difficulting in determining
the difference between Wheiner and what he was buried in.
<AKK>
It is currently unclear whether the "AS" (atomic sh*t)
dissolved the limo or the waste department accidentally bulldozed
the limo together with it. Investigations are running.
<AKK>
an astonishing amount of thank-you-letters on offical Beta
Mountain letter paper arrived for Atomic Ant, mysterically, all
were unsigned.
<Bruinhilda> Two days later, a large
blonde galaxy ranger registered his candiacy for the office. He
is expected to win in a landslide with his charismatic good
looks, and the arsenal of weaponry he carries with him to
debates.
<AKK> In addition his slogan is real keeper:
"Hey, if Whinny could do it, everybody can do
it!"
<Bruinhilda> Already, the organized crime
surrounding politics has dropped a shocking 50%, as every special
interest that attempted to lean on Candidate Gooseman found
themselves either in jail or six feet under.
<AKK> The
local funeral institutes are crushing under the load.
<AKK>
except a certain foreign contractor: Queen's Insitute - fine
finer carnflakes (carnivore flakes).
<Bruinhilda>
Tortuna, meanwhile, has been host to the largest bachelor party
ever seen, and expects the wedding to be even bigger. How Slade
managed to finally win the Queen is the subject of much
speculation amongst the criminal element (IE: 99% of Tortuna's
population).
<Bruinhilda> It does, perhaps, have
something to do with the new product Jerry Jumper shills: Atomic
Ant's Awesome Enhancement Formula....
<AKK> Though
insiders of the palace speculate about a new brand of carnflakes
best sells being involved.
<Bruinhilda> In a more
disturbing note, Maya's love of technology has reportedly gotten
out of hand...she will wed Galaxy Ranger Buzzwang in a royal
September ceremony. Until then, her former suitor is being held
under guard so he will not be able to reprogramm the groom.
<AKK>
Rusty is reportedly in tears. It is not known whether about the
jailed suitor or the lost groom.
<AKK> betting is
on.
<Bruinhilda> King Buzzwang the First has already
delcared that his first act as King of Tarkon will be the
legalization of human testing of cosmetic products. Palace
insiders hint that such testing has already begun on royal
prisoners.
<AKK> space peace's inner circle is severly
divided over the discussion whether humans are after their agenda
a lifeform worth protection or not .
<AKK> after all, if
they protect the gonococcus, shouldn't they also protect it's
primar host?
<Bruinhilda>
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaahhhhhhh!" Doc woke
up, frantically scrubbing at imaginary lip gloss. The tri-d
blithely continued playing Jerry Jumper's "Psycho Pets and
the Women Who Marry Them". One flailing hand knocked the
jar of spiced Kirwin pickles onto the remote, muting the
program.
<Bruinhilda> Realizing where he was, Doc moaned
and collasped back onto the couch. |