W A R N I N G rated R for adult content

Garbage In, Garbage Out (And We Do Mean Garbage)
by A. Kniggendorf & E. Bales

Warning! This post is the product of two filthy minds. (But we're funny. -EB) If this sort of content offends you, read no further. The outtakes I wrote were, um, inspired by some wild sound files that wander the Net – especially by a couple of particularly filthy ones that rolled off the tongue of Doug Preis, aka Goose. I don't know what Ann's excuse is. -EB I need no excuse! -AKK E. Bales: Outtakes we'd like to see Walsh: Can't I trust you to complete a simple assignment? We had a whole security squad waiting at Longshot all afternoon! Zach: Sir! Fck you very much, sir! Niko: Shane, could you like a girl like Maya? Goose: Nahh... but I'd like to screw you to the deckplates. How about it? Maya: Goose, you're so witty. Goose: Does that mean I can expect a blow job at the next rest stop? Walsh: You've got 24 hours before I call in the Space Navy. Niko: I have to wait 24 hours? Waldo: Zero gee just isn't natural! Zozo: Yeah, then how come there's so much of it? <push> Waldo: Aahh! Unhand me, you little Kiwi sht! Niko: What are you? Scarecrow: I am as beyond you as you are of the insects! Niko: You're Barney? Goose: We'll have to jam-sync the hypershunts! Doc: Ooh, I love it when you talk like that! A. Kniggendorf: 101 positions not allowed in an Explorer No, sir. I will not explain why I missed the Crown destroyer on the mainscreen. I assure, that are not fingerprints on the compscreen. – Toeprints? I wore boots, sir! Sorry, I didn't have the handcuffs ready. – My hands? Well, they weren't free, either. No, the second seat wasn't occupied at that moment. We immobilized a slaverlord? – Ah yes, we were in need of a fresh sheet. Uhm... My back was towards the front screen. Why? There was an urgent repair. – During a flight?! – It was my pleasure, sir. Ranger Niko, why didn't you notice?! – Ranger Gooseman's not transparent, sir. Then how come the board cannons were fired?! – That was a mistake. – A mistake?! You saved Earth! – I grabbed the wrong joystick. How do you consider your mission? – Satisfactory, sir.


Fanfic	Bureau of Extra-Terrestrial Affairs